Nobody Really Says “Potahdo”

“There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.”

-Charles Dickens, Martin Chuzzlewit

Screen shot Tater Salad

Dill Potato Salad

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_ _ Nick’s mother is known as the potato salad lady. Or maybe only I call her that. Either way, a family function is not complete without her bringing this dish– and I have yet to convince her to give me the recipe so I had to improvise my own. I don’t add eggs… because that grosses me out; I add a lot of dill… because I love it; and the little bit of buttermilk and vinegar in the sauce make it feel less heavy… until you binge eat 1 1/2 pounds of potatoes and then weigh yourself because you’re a masochist.

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Avodcado-Poppy Seed Dressing…

“Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.”

-Mark Twain, Roughing It

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_ _ In the 20th century the avocado has been hailed as one of many “superfoods.” They get less super as they’ve been sitting in your fridge for over a week and you have to pick around the brown spots… When in need of a recipe to use up that borderline disgusting produce you’ve allowed to go bad, this is a perfect solution! You can use it as a salad dressing, or a sandwich spread– but either way, get some vegetables in you, you disgusting Americans. Even if you do pair it with excessive bacon… like this disgusting American.

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No Mayo Mayoneggs…

“An egg is always an adventure; the next one may be different.”

-Oscar Wilde

Deviled Eggs with Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

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_ _ I’ve always been an obnoxious stickler for grammar, spelling and pronunciation. Even in text messages I refuse to accept the replacement of “your” for “you’re”… they’re not the same word, dagnabbit! My first two years of college were spent wandering aimlessly from class to class, as I remained an Undeclared major. I should have known that I was meant to study English– I’ve always had an undeserved sense of superiority, dating back to my days in preschool. One of my clearest memories from the pre-K classroom is severely reprimanding my friend Tina for continuing to pronounce the word “yellow” as “lellow.” What a pleaseant child I must have been.

_ _ These deviled eggs are not your typical mayo-filled kind. After taking an entire BBQ chicken salad-pizza and pumpkin sheet cake to the face, I decided to try some healthier food for the next couple days, and thus these babies were born. The “lellows” are mixed with roasted red pepper hummus and light sour cream– so eat up, and revel in the sense of well-being that eating healthy and knowing how to properly contract words gives you!

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Get Dressed!

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”

-Orson Welles

Creamy Balsamic Dressing

_ _┬áMy boyfriend usually turns up his nose at any salad topping that isn’t bleu cheese, ranch, or poppyseed. He hates vinegar. He hates garlic… Yet last night he requested salad with his dinner so that he could have more of this garlicky, vinegary dressing. Who knew making your own delicious “house dressing” could be so easy? I did. That’s why I made it.

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Steak ‘N Potaters…

“There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.”

-Mark Twain

Soy Sauce Glazed Red Potato “Croutons”

_ _Meat and potatoes remind me unequivocally of England (where I’ve been twice, no big deal). “But Anna,” you say, “shouldn’t something more like fish and chips remind you unequivocally of England?” Well yes, but that doesn’t help me in regards to this post, so stop being such a smart-arse. When I was in high school we took two class trips to that jolly island and although I absolutely loved my time there, I got the distinct feeling that the country as a whole wasn’t sad to see me go… I thought my constant impressions of Tiny Tim and/or Oliver Twist and/or anyone speaking with a Cockney accent were far more hilarious than they were. I still do.

_ _ In any case, these are the perfect side for a nice steak… ideally some Kobe beef, not the Walmart filets which are all I can afford. Don’t judge me for shopping at Walmart, please. But even with a kind-of-terrible, definitely-not-organic steak, I still find myself saying: “please sir, I want some more!” …*tap tap* is this thing on?

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Spicy Home Fries

“After violent emotion most people and all boys demand food.”
Rudyard Kipling, Captains Courageous

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_ _You can make these puppies with breakfast, or as a side dish for dinner. This particular batch I paired with meatloaf and because they are baked and not fried, I could pretend I was serving up a healthy meal… Disregard the fact that it was meat wrapped in meat with a side of starch. Everything’s fiiiiine in moderation!

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