Scones I Would Drop-Kick A Nun For…

“Red berries shine here and there in the latices of Minor Canon Corner; Mr. and Mrs. Tope are daintily sticking sprigs of holly into the carvings and sconces of the Cathedral stalls, as if they were sticking them into the coat-button-holes of the Dean and Chapter. Lavish profusion is in the shops: particularly in the articles of currants, raisins, spices, candied peel, and moist sugar.”

-Charles Dickens, The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Soft Blueberry Scones with Orange-Honey-Butter

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_ _ I am generally an awkward and easily embarrassed human being; if you ever find yourself walking down a hallway in my direction, prepare yourself for the weird dance that we’ll do, as I inevitably will try to get around you while accidentally mirroring your every move… Because of this I developed the verbal tick of apologizing for everything- to the point of being annoying- if someone slapped me across the mouth I’d be tempted to say “sorry” for getting in the way of their open fist…

_ _ I have never been less sorry, however, than when eating these scones. Amendment: I was sorry I made these in lieu of going to the gym today, but I apologized to my love handles and they forgave me.

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Pumpkin Snack Cake…

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”

-Virginia Wolfe, A Room Of One’s Own

Pumpkin Cake with Molasses Glaze

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_ _ I’m about to crack an egg of knowledge all over you– if you call something a “snack,” you’re allowed to eat twice as much of it… A full sheet cake almost isn’t enough.

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Cherry Limeade Cupcakes

“It’s amazing how pervasive food is. Every second commercial is for food. Every second TV episode takes place around a meal. In the city, you can’t go ten feet without seeing or smelling a restaurant. There are 20 foot high hamburgers up on billboards. I am acutely aware of food, and it’s omnipresence is astounding.”

-Adam Scott, The Monkey Chow Diaries, June 2006

Lime Cake with Cherry Frosting

_ _ Without a doubt, Sonic is one of the Midwest’s most redeeming businesses. When driving by the hilarity that is Kansas’ billboard set-up (which is unintentionally-ironic, alternating Jesus and Adult Video Warehouse signage), all I need to see is a food exit advertising a Sonic, and my heart warms a little. Who could hate a place that serves tater tots? One of their greatest contributions to my life has been the introduction to cherry-limeade slushy drinks– I know that I’m probably going to end up with at least 3 new cavities by the time I’m done with it, but I accept the consequences. These cupcakes are a tribute to this great, and refreshing, beverage.

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I’ll Be On You Like A Spider Monkey… Bread

“I like breakfast-time better than any other moment in the day,” said Mr. Irwine. “No dust has settled on one’s mind then, and it presents a clear mirror to the rays of things.”

-George Eliot, Adam Bede

Monkey Bread

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_ _I originally considered titling this post “Hold on tight spider monkey… bread” but then I realized that I don’t particularly want to showcase not only that I have seen, but can quote “Twilight” the movie. Granted, these films may be my guilty pleasure, but I also wrote a college paper on the glamorized yet unhealthy and borderline abusive relationship between Bella and Edward. Ohhh how two-faced I feel.

_ _When I see recipes for Monkey Bread they are nearly always made in a bundt pan (which always sounded like a dirty word to me) and not only do I not own said pan, I refuse to buy one for a single recipe… even if it is a recipe that I have been dying to make. So I switched it up and decided to make it in miniature. A true spider monkey… bread.

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Three B’s And A Couple P’s…

“And now, Doctor, we’ve done our work, so it’s time we had some play. A sandwich and a cup of coffee, and then off to violin-land, where all is sweetness and delicacy and harmony…”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Red-Headed League

Bacon, Basil and Brie in Puffed Pastry with Maple-Bourbon Gastrique
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_ _ This past week I decided to class my life up a little. I was sick of eating Easy Mac, watching Red Box movies and sitting around in my bathrobe. Just kidding, I could never be sick of being in my bathrobe… and former roommates can attest to this embarrassment. I wanted to attempt to recreate an AMAZING dish that is served at the restaurant that employs me, but I quickly realized that I would have to adjust the recipe to accommodate my tiny kitchen and limited cooking gadgets– so I shook my fists at the heavens and cursed the fact (for the millionth time) that I do not have a deep fryer… After I was done with those theatrics, I turned my attention to figuring out how I could incorporate cheese, bacon and maple syrup into a single recipe.

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Voila!

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Apples and Onions and Pastry- Oh My!

“Indeed, when I am in really great trouble, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink.”

-Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Caramelized Apple & Onion Tart

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_ _As a college student in perpetual poverty, I was reduced to offering my parents the gift of food and an IOU last Christmas… It was that, or show them what all the tuition for my English degree was going towards and present them with a literary thesis. In a macaroni frame. I went with the option that was less likely to make them cry. It was the holidays after all.

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