Sliders Two Ways…

“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.”

-Adelle Davis

Burger Sliders Topped with Cranberries, Red Onion and Brie, or Cheddar and Dill Pickles

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_ _ When you’ve been “going steady” with someone for awhile, most people can look back on the courtship with fondness– you remember butterflies, romance and getting to know someone new and exciting. But sometimes things just go so very, very wrong. My first date with Nick was on a hot Boston summer night, he drove down to meet me from Connecticut and because we had agreed to be casual, he showed up in cut-off camo Army pants and a Celtics jersey. Hilarious… And then he called me the wrong name. Not quite as hilarious. We had a lovely dinner at a local sushi restaurant, where I proceeded to blurt out completely inappropriate things because my nerves had apparently erased my inner-sensor. Had  the date ended there I don’t think we ever would have seen each other again, but thankfully we also decided to catch a movie! As we trekked down the steep sidewalks of Mission Hill towards the train to the theater, my sandal broke and simultaneously the skies opened and began pouring rain… I wish I was kidding. I took a gamble and decided to board the train sporting one shoe– I figured I’d either end up with a second date because I showed I could roll with the punches… or with him thinking I was a disgusting human being. I got both.

_ _ Nearly three years later, we’re still together. Sometimes things that you wouldn’t expect to work, make the best combinations; that’s the lesson I learned from my relationship as well as these burgers. Did I essentially just compare my boyfriend to a beef patty? Yes.

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A Good Time Or A Good Story To Tell…

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.”

-George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman

Crab Cakes

_ _ Fact: Some scientists believe (and I have cause to agree) that in some people there is a GENETIC predisposition to hate cilantro.

_ _ I used to believe that if you didn’t like a certain food, it was because you just hadn’t experienced it– you didn’t have an open mind… until I came across one glorious website. Indulge me as I share several of my favorite haikus with you:

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Soak your dirty feet
In lemon water and drink.
Tastes like cilantro.

-Sheri2names

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This is *NOT* Basil!
How dare you lie to my face!
For this, you shall die.

-ReginaStargazer

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Oh tasty taco
Is there a stinkbug in you?
No, its cilantro.

-Alexalyse

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…FYI if you wish to join the movement, you can find 20 more PAGES of these at ihatecilantro.com. Brilliant.

_ _ Seafood was another of my great dislikes for several years. Although none can compete with the horror that cilantro inflicts upon my tastebuds, fish was regarded with a similar disdain. With great shame I admit that it wasn’t until after my six years spent in New England, that I had my first crab cake… I developed a liking… and then the other night I paid $13 for a single cake. I don’t think so, my friend. Then and there I resolved to make my own, and that I did. Enjoy the fruits of my labor…

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Enjoy Your Stew…

“Make hunger thy sauce, as a medicine for health.”

-Thomas Tusser

_ _ I’m a lady of a thousand faces. Most of the time I don’t know I’m making them but I undeniably wear my thoughts and emotions on my face… usually unattractively. I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam… I accept it. What does still embarrass me, is my many, many voices. I crack, squeak, and lisp at bizarre times (I don’t have a lisp, but certain words I enjoy saying with a lisp and now I can’t stop). What can I say, I entertain myself. It’s NOT entertaining when I don’t have control over my vocal changes, however.

_ _ The other night while I was working at the restaurant, a very attractive couple were seated on the far side of the room. All the female employees “subtly” stared at the man, while the male employees ogled his date. As luck would have it, I was the one to run their soup and salad course, and apparently their combined beauty made me nervous, for as I set down their plates, I said in a terrifying, croaky, monster voice “Enjoy your stewww!” …When I heard this come out of my mouth, even I was creeped out. I immediately turned, hunched my back and limped to the service alley, dragging my left foot behind me… Just kidding, but I did make a speedy exit and forced others wait on them the rest of the night. Lesson learned: treat beautiful people like eclipses (don’t look directly at them); and try to avoid saying the word “stew” like you’re Satan incarnate._

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Open Sesame… Noodles

“The greatest delight which the fields and woods minister, is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me, and I to them.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nature

_ _ I made my friend Jackie some of these noodles today and she was so impatient for me to post them that I promised I would, but after a long night at work I just don’t have the gumption to come up with a creative or witty accompanying story. I’ll come back to it… eventually… maybe.

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Get Dressed!

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”

-Orson Welles

Creamy Balsamic Dressing

_ _ My boyfriend usually turns up his nose at any salad topping that isn’t bleu cheese, ranch, or poppyseed. He hates vinegar. He hates garlic… Yet last night he requested salad with his dinner so that he could have more of this garlicky, vinegary dressing. Who knew making your own delicious “house dressing” could be so easy? I did. That’s why I made it.

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Loaded Baked Potato Soup…

“I hate people who are not serious about their meals.”

-Oscar Wilde

_ _I don’t know much about a lot of things, but I do know a lot about a few things… For example, I know a surprising amount about the history of the Soviet KGB thanks to a professor who I’m fairly confident believed himself to be Stalin reincarnate. I also know a lot more about my diet habits now, thanks to this blog: I know that I eat way too much starch; I know that I eat way too much cheese; I know that because there is broccoli in this soup I feel pretty good about consuming mass quantities of it. What I don’t know is what to do with leftovers… because I never have any.

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